Self-Esteem is Not the Answer


     My sister and I had an interesting discussion the other day.  We've had friends who made very, very foolish relationship decisions and got badly hurt.  And so often we hear them blame their decision on their low self-esteem.
     The story runs something like this: "I knew I shouldn't have gotten into the car with them, but I really struggle with low self-esteem...and I just thought this was probably the best I could ever hope for, and I don't really deserve better than this...and I was just so happy that somebody could actually think I was pretty and those words meant so much to me that I couldn't walk away even though I knew I should have...because no one ever tells me that they care about me like that."

     Low self-esteem is bad.  It's like a disease that has reached epidemic proportions.  I can't tell you how many people I know struggle with it...especially young people.  In fact, I don't know anyone who hasn't struggled with it at least some point in their lives...myself included.

     But let's look at the story of Joseph.  Here you have a young man who has been rejected by his own brothers.  And he's been sold as a slave.  By this time, he's been working as a slave in a foreign land for some time.  He has no family there to support him.  He is a prime candidate for "low self-esteem."
    And suddenly there is a woman who finds him very attractive.  She is the wife of a wealthy Egyptian man so I'm going to assume that she was very pretty.  And she found Joseph so attractive that she offered herself to him -- she asked him to come lie with her.
     Joseph resists the temptation and he gives his reason.
     It was not because he had high self-esteem.  There is no mention that he thought he was too good for her.  He didn't say he was saving himself for his future wife because he owed it to himself.  He didn't say that "he was better than that" and "he himself was such a strong pious man that he couldn't stoop to such low levels."
     It was not because he had low self-esteem.  He didn't say that he was just a slave and he wasn't worthy of such a beautiful woman.
    No.  It had nothing to do with his self-esteem, whether high or low.
    Here is what he said:

"...How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"
(Genesis 39:9b) 
     His focus was on God.  It was God whom he wished to honor.  It was respect and obedience to God that kept him from making this mistake.
     And I've heard stories similar to this from some young women of my acquaintance.  They DID struggle with low self-esteem, but they were saved from some bad circumstances because of their obedience to God.

     So, if you are struggling with self-esteem issues (whether high or low), listen to the story of Joseph and shift your focus.  Stop looking at yourself and start looking at God.  Look for Him.  Learn about Him.  Study His Word and apply it to your life.  Spend time talking to Him.  Spend time listening to Him.  You will find that your life starts to fall into place when you put Him first.



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